Stress becomes me

after sleeping for about 20 mins tonight I woke up not being able to catch my breath. I was frighten out of my mind, but my gasping sounds were not enough to waken my roommate. I started to realize that I was having a major panic attack and I try to think of the steps my doc. Told me to do in this situation. After calming myself down I notice how terrible ill I felt inside and well I started praying to the porcelain gods. After laying looking at the wall for a while I decided to check my blood sugar, remembering the disgusting Crack in the box I had for dinner
and it was 251. Which for those who don’t know is WAY to high. I am not to sure what caused my episode but something is telling me that the food and my stress had something to do with it.

the x factor

how come after the break up you can never think of any of the bad things that happen, only the good Why cant I just move on and stop thinking about you? you are driving me insane!!!!!!!!

The Way

I went with a friend "Keylan" to a young adult christen group tonight, and I really felt at home. I had forgotten how the word of god made me feel inside. I am not sure if it is the music or the feeling of knowing that I am in the house of the lord but I seem to always get brought to my keens in prayer. As much as I like going to these type of events when I get home I always find myself evaluating my life and what I am doing in it that God would not approve of. Then I envision the love that our lord speaks about in 1 Corinthians 13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. This is the love that I want to have, not just for others but for myself as well.

leagal research beyond google

The Internet "google" has now even taken control of the judicial system.

Talk about having the Holy Ghost

Wis. lawmaker wants teachers to carry guns

Should teachers be able to carry firearms to class? Some people think so.

The purpose of Soul Food

I can remember being a young girl watching my grandmother in the kitchen cooking food for the family, and how much of a big deal it was. The men would be in the living room talking mess to one another and watching some type of game on the television. The women would do the same "talk mess" and cook. At the age I was, I never thought to much about it I just love being apart of it. Now as I get older I see that the amazing soul food that was being prepared was for more than just eating, it was for us all to bond together and to stay as a close family. I now like carrying that tradition on with this side of my family and friends. Although tonight was a night for me to just cook for just a few of my family, I love the feeling of them enjoying the food as well as each others company, we catch up on each others life, we laugh at each other and just reassure each other on the love we have.

this is weird I know

I have this weird fixation on empty pic. frames. In some way I think that they are so beautiful. I am not so sure where this came from but its my thing. Is that crazy?

Bring it on I am soooo ready

Harry Potter and Wicca

Laura Mallory, a mother of four, told a hearing officer for the Gwinnett County Board of Education on Tuesday that the popular fiction books are an "evil" attempt to indoctrinate children in the Wicca religion.

Board of Education attorney Victoria Sweeny said that if schools were to remove all books containing reference to witches, they would have to ban "Macbeth" and "Cinderella."

"There's a mountain of evidence for keeping Harry Potter," she said, adding that the books don't support any particular religion but present instead universal themes of friendship and overcoming adversity.

Two thumbs down for the first show on the new season

The first show for the new season of Lost was horrible! I don't know what was going on, and I could not even pay attention to it. The only part that was ok was the last five mins and I was mad at that because it made me cry and I don't like it when a show makes me cry...... I guess I should not complain because I still will watch it until the show goes off air

This should be good

Al Gore - a live presentation and discussion about the most critical issue of our times as seen in the film and book an inconvenient truth
October 24 @ the theater of clouds

TONIGHT IS THE SEASON PREMIERE OF LOST

"A Tale of Two Cities"
SEASON PREMIERE
In the season premiere episode, Jack, Kate and Sawyer begin to discover what they are up against as prisoners of "The Others." I am so addicted to this show it's crazy. I love it!!!!

You can meet a 1000 people and only have a connection with one. To find someone that you are genuinely interested in spending time with is rare thing. Most people believe that if the opposite sex spend time with each other it automatically means that then want to “sleep” together or “date” each other, which I don’t believe is the case. You can fall in love with a person and not want any type of physical affection, but just to be part of there life. To know who they are, and what they can teach you. I will befriend anyone that I believe is an amazing person.

Friendship is something that is hard to find but even harder to keep.

This is some info. on a very rare condition

Vaginismus (occurring in less than 2% of women in the US) is a condition which affects a woman's ability to have sexual intercourse, insert tampons and undergo gynecological examinations. This is the result of a conditioned muscle reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle in which they clamp shut, making penetration either extremely painful or impossible. The severity of vaginismus varies from woman to woman.

It is important to remember that the woman does not choose for this to happen; it is a reflex reaction. Vaginismus can be compared to the response of the eye shutting when an object comes towards it. A woman with vaginismus learns to expect pain to come with penetration and so her mind automatically sends a signal to her PC muscles to clamp shut, thus making penetration either impossible or very painful.

The conditioned reflex creates a vicious circle for vaginismic women. It is a common misconception that these women do not want to have sex as a lot of the time, they desperately do.

There is no one reason that a woman may have vaginismus and in fact, there are a variety of factors that can contribute. These may be psychological or physiological and the treatment required will usually depend on the reason why the woman has the condition. Some examples of causes of vaginimus include sexual abuse, strict religious upbringing, being taught that sex is dirty or wrong or simply the fear of pain associated with penetration, and in particular, losing your virginity. These are just some of the reported reasons behind vaginismus and there are many, many more. It is a very personal condition and so each case must be looked at individually as causes and treatment can not be generalised to all women with vaginismus.

Most women who suffer from vaginismus do not realise they have it until they try to insert a tampon or have sex for the first time and so it may come as quite a shock to them. The condition will not get worse or more serious if left untreated unless the woman is continuing to have sex/use tampons despite feeling pain on penetration.

Just a little info to anyone that may wounder what this condition was.

check out these pic, this is the only person cuter then me!!!! My neice

all we need is love

I am not to sure why people cant just say how they feel at times, whether it be to a family member, a friend or someone that they like. We hold things inside and don't let them out and you then face the possibility of them never knowing so I want to tell the world "I LOVE YOU" mom, Tyree, abrah, dad, grandma, Alana, all my aunts, all my uncles, all of my friends (old and new) I love you all.

Krill told me so!

My good friend Krill once told me that when ever I decided to leave John that I would have no problem meeting a ton of people that would be interested in "dating" me. I am not sure why I did not take that to heart " think it is because I don't look like the gals in the magazines" but I needed to just realize what a amazing person I was. Now she right I cant believe how many people have asked me out, i am soooo not use to this but I do like it. I just know that I don't really want to be in any type of relationship now, I need a break after 6 years.........

My day at Sauvie's Island

We had a very exciting time today, Brianne and myself. We sat by the water and just felt at ease with our surroundings. No cars, no Internet and no loud music. Just us and the sand between our toes. We then proceeded to a garden where we picked flowers. We ended our long relaxing day with a trip to the pumpkin patch where we bought a ton of vegetables for dinner and of course pumpkins. We did some crazy corn field maze that was fun but at the same time it was a little nark. Over all it was a very pleasant day, just spending time with one of my girls.

Joanna Newsome

Sunday, December 3
Portland, OR
Aladdin Theater

I heard her music at my friend Terry's house and I fell in love with her. I cant wait to see her show, I think it will be a great show.

I have the most interesting news, I amazingly sleep 7 hours last night. That is such a big deal because I t has not happen in so long. Thanks to everyones ideas on what I should do. Now if I can just keep it up

I have been sitting at the computer tiring to think of what to say about my date today. I realize that I cant say much, I had good time, I really enjoyed the person and the conversation. It will be nice to see him again this week when he is back in town but until then. Thanks for lunch.